Why God wants us to Only be apart of 1 Church

        Recently, I was listening to our local Christian Radio Station while taking my kids to school and the hosts were having a conversation about this trend we’re seeing in the church world today of “People attending more than one church.” After about 45 seconds, I grabbed my iPhone and told my boys in the back seat, “Fellas, I’ve gotta call and weigh in on this.” I knew, as a leader in our community, it was my responsibility for a number of reasons. Not the least of which was that, over the past 5 months, we’ve seen this very trend at Next Level Church.

After moving into our new facility five months ago, it’s as if we’ve suddenly come on the radar of other Christians in our city. So it’s not uncommon to have a dozen or more people who attend other churches in attendance over a weekend. Add to that, the fact that we launched a Saturday Night service when we moved in to our facility and you end up with an opportunity for a lot of church people from other churches to start showing up consistently at Next Level Church.

Of course, this raises the question, “What’s the big deal? I mean, who cares right? Is it really a bad thing that someone wants to be in church more than once a week? And hey, we’re all apart of the big-C, Church right? So why all the worry about it?”

So, at the risk of drawing what could seem to be unnecessary attention to something, I do believe it needs to be addressed. As a pastor in our city, and as a voice of influence that many of you listen to consistently for guidance and understanding, I believe I have a responsibility to shed some light on an otherwise rather cloudy subject.

? Is it ever okay for a person to go to another church in the same town?

        I believe there are instances where a person has been sidelined in their faith and has become stagnant in leveraging their life for God. And I believe that on those occasions God will stir that person in their spirit to find another place of worship that they can come off the sidelines and into the game where you can use your talents, passions, skills and abilities to impact others for God’s glory.

        At Next Level Church, we don’t subscribe to the idea that once a person is in a local church in a city, the only way they can ever leave is if God moves them out to another part of the country. I think we get into dangerous territory when we swim in those waters. I believe God does move people from one church to another inside the same community. However, the reasoning behind God moving someone is never because there’s been a disagreement and we don’t want to have the hard conversation with leaders about it. 
        We are family and families don’t run out on each other when the going gets tough. Families talk through issues. Families keep talking. Families make each other better. Families even agree to disagree on non-essentials.
        However, having said all of that, I do believe there are times when God will move someone from one church to another in order to get them unstuck in their relationship with Him. God’s heart is to see everyone of His children living out their faith in a vibrant and life-giving way. He wants to see His kids leveraging their abilities, talents, passions and resources for the good of others. So if one of His children have become stagnant in their faith at a local church, I do believe that He will nudge them out of the nest and move them to another local church where they can get back in the game.

So what do I do if I feel God may be moving me out of my church?

        First, let me speak to the person who has stalled out in their faith, been sidelined or uninvolved, but has been showing up to a church for a while, maybe even years, and you’re just attending. You’re not serving. If you’re giving, it’s not coming from a heart of thanksgiving, and you’re barely connected to the life of the church you’re attending. In short, you’re just going there because you’ve always went there, but your faith isn’t flourishing.

        If that’s you, then I want you to know that I firmly believe that you’re not living God’s best for you. God doesn’t want us just showing up and going through the motions because you feel obligated to do so, but inside there’s no growth, no intensity, and no passion for Him or lost people. If that’s you, I would first challenge you to do some soul searching. After all, it might not be the church, it might have something to do with you. Pray about it. Dig into God’s Word and see if the Holy Spirit might place His finger on some areas in your life that you have allowed to go cold.
        Now then, after you have thoroughly searched your heart and made the changes you’ve needed to make, you may find that a fresh start in another church is where God may want you so you can get on fire for God again! Here’s what we know: God wants everyone of His children to be vibrantly involved in the life of what He’s doing in a local expression of His church. God wants you to be in a church where you can use your passions, giftings, talents and abilities for His glory and for the benefit of others.
        I challenge you to find the church where God wants you to be. Find a church where you can get off the bench and into the game! The world needs you to leverage what God has placed inside of you for kingdom benefit! Nobody wins when we just show up, soak up, and go home no different than when we came in. If you’re going to make a difference in your world, then you’ve got to get in the game!
        I believe it is right for you to go to the leader(s) of your existing church and communicate to them how you are feeling. Your pastor needs to hear your heart on what you believe God may be doing in your heart. I have never found open, honest and life-giving communication to ever be wrong in the end. And trust me, as a local church leader, it always calms my heart to know what’s going on rather than to hear second hand or after someone has already switched churches.

What if my church has made some decisions that I don’t agree with?

        One of the main reasons why people begin attending more than one church is because they’ve gotten upset about a decision, or a series of decisions, that have been made at their home church. First, let me go on record as saying this, it’s absolute fantasy to think that a group of people, like a local church, are going to agree on everything 100% of the time. That’s ridiciulous! My wife and I don’t agree with each other all the time. Heck, I don’t even agree with myself 100% of the time. So I am not in any way, shape or form, saying that we need a 100% unanimous agreement on every decision a local church makes.
        Nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to agree with one another all of the time. And we have done harm to the body of Christ over the past few decades by leading people to believe that the best way to be spiritual and love God is to sit down and shut up and never say what you think or feel.
        I believe the biblical thing to do is to go to one another and talk it out. I have said for years that I’m convinced there aren’t too many things we can’t figure out if we just get the right people in the same room for a long enough period of time that we can actually have honest, loving, and life-giving conversation.
        The Body of Christ doesn’t need a bunch of yes men and women, it needs smart, talented, bright, and intelligent men and women who are willing to come together in an effort to understand all of the sides of a decision. It’s our job as leaders in the local church to create that environment and it’s the responsibility of church attenders to be willing to have the hard conversations with their leaders when they feel their perspective is needed.
        Then, the Body needs a select group of people to be trusted to make what they believe to be the best decision for the sake of the organization as a whole, not any one person or group of people in the church.
        Unfortunately, in my experience with many churches over the years, I have seen too many churches where there is not an environment of openness and what we call around Next Level Church, a culture of the “Best Idea Wins.” Too often in local churches, the leadership culture is such that people who have risked having a hard conversation have been chastised, demeaned or disregarded to a degree that they actually feel like the best option is to take their ball and go find a new playground.

So, let me speak to church leaders for a moment. 

        When we, as church leaders, don’t create an environment where smart, intelligent and talented people can feel like their opinion has been heard, we run the risk of making them feel as though they would be better off just slipping out the back door then actually staying around and enduring the pain required to actually have their thoughts heard. I know it’s hard, but church leaders, we must put our ego aside and consider what is best for the organization. It doesn’t mean we allow ourselves to be walked on either. It simply means we create a leadership culture that says, “Your opinion matters to me, and I’m willing to listen.”

 Now, let me speak to the person who finds themselves in a place where they’re questioning leadership decisions.

        If you find yourself in that position, let me encourage you to do as Jesus taught in Matthew 18. Go to your leader(s) and in a spirit of love and with a heart that is seeking to understand, not just be understood, have a conversation about whatever is on your heart. Most often, there is a perfectly logical explanation as to why they have made the decision they’ve made. Keep in mind, as leaders, we’re just humans too, trying to communicate in a high pressure, and often tense environment the direction we feel God wants this local body to go.
        I love the advice we find in the book of James when he writes, “As much as it depends on you, seek to live at peace with one another.” I believe that Biblically, you MUST do that! If you just slip out the back door and head across town to another church, you’re not creating peace among Christ’s bride. However, let me add this. If you’ve done what you can to effectively share your heart with the leader(s) of your church, then you are free to go. How they respond is not up to you. They are responsible to God for their attitude and response to you.
        But it IS your responsibility to close the door there. This may mean (and probably will mean) severing some relationships you’ve had for a long time. That’s part of the deal when you step out of one family unit and into another. You leave behind the relationships as well. It’s not okay for the ex-boyfriend to have dinner with his ex’s mom and dad. Make a clean break.
        Also, you have a responsibility to NOT say a negative word about that other church. Remember, this is Jesus’s Bride we’re talking about here. It is not just a bunch of people who we may feel have hurt us. There is no place in the kingdom of God for believers bashing a church they used to attend. If you have issues that are unresolved, then, as we talked about before, you are biblically responsible to go back and talk it through, or leave them at the foot of the Cross. But it is not okay to share them, even as prayer requests, with other believers. You need to find a general way of stating why you’ve left the church and then follow it up with a positive statement about that church. I believe that honors the bride of Christ in a city.

What if I like the music / preaching / whatever at one church but I’m connected relationally to another church?

       Unfortunately, in the Body of Christ today, we have a good number of believers who have taken a self-serving, self-focused approach to their relationship with God. They run from one spiritual high to the next, never planting their feet in one body and committing to do life with people. If God is moving at a church across town, they’ll go there for a few months, then when that gets old, they run off to the next church where they believe God is moving.         Now, please don’t miss my heart on this. I’m not being judgmental toward this group of people. I just believe that this type of activity doesn’t serve lost people well and I don’t believe it glorifies God either. God wants us to not be tossed about by the latest fads or winds of doctrine. God wants us to love His bride, the church, more than we love ourselves. Such uncommitted behavior is the equivalent of sleeping with multiple partners and never committing to any of them beyond the bedroom activity.

        Long-term, this isn’t good. And yes, I understand that if you feel like God might be moving you from where you are to somewhere different, there’s a season of overlap. I get that. However, I do not believe it’s a good thing, long-term for anyone to attend more than one church.

Here’s why:

        A Local Church is like a Family. And families are committed to one another through good and bad, thick and thin, rough times and great times, families stick together. That’s the tenaciousness needed in the Body of Christ today. Our Presence in a Local Church is a lot like a Marriage. God wants us to commit to one local church and give our all there. It’s not okay to date more than one person at the same time. It may make for good TV on the show, “The Bachelor” but in real life, it just causes a lot of people a lot of hurt. It’s impossible to give yourself wholly to two people at the same time. Eventually someone gets hurt and in the mean time, neither one gets the best of you. And I wholeheartedly believe that we are living in a time where it is essential that a local church gets the best of you.

        Again, if God is stirring you to find a new church, then after you have communicated with your leader(s), go check out a few other churches. I recommend going to more than just one or two, even if you have a number of friends who go to one in particular. Take time to truly get a feel for what God is doing across your city. Then, once you’ve gotten a feel for what God is doing, spend some time asking God where He wants you. Again, don’t just go where you’re social group is going. Ask God where He wants you. He might surprise you. After you’ve heard from God, plug in! Don’t just sit on the sidelines, throw yourself whole-heartedly into the vision of that local church.
 
? What if I really don’t know where God wants me to plug in and I’m attending a couple of different churches, what should I do?

We’ve developed a great filter question for you to think about and pray through:

        The way you answer that question will probably give you a good indicator as to the church God wants you to plug into and make your church home. After all, at the end of the day, the church we attend has very little to do with our personal preferences, and much to do with our ability to reach lost people in our sphere of influence. Attending a church is less about which preacher we like best, or where the music moves us the most, and more about where we will be most likely to invite lost people to come and experience Jesus as well?

        Honestly, We don’t serve lost people well when we try to explain to them why we go to two different churches. We don’t offer our kingdom best when we attend more than one church. We offer our kingdom best when we settle down, commit to one local church and give our all for His glory and for the impact of eternity in the hearts of the world.