The 3 Hardest Things about Ministry

I had the privilege of meeting with a young leader in our church who is about to relocate out west and become a youth pastor for the 1st time! I always love my time with young leaders who are hungry to learn. Toward the end of our time together, he asked me, “What is the hardest thing about ministry?” I paused for a moment and then proceeded to say, “I’m going to tell you this, not as a member of my church, but as a fellow pastor now.” Then I proceeded to answer his question in 3 ways:

  • The Hardest thing in Dealing with People
  • The Hardest thing Personally and
  • The Hardest thing about Leadership at this level.

For those of you in ministry, I hope this will be an encouragement. For those of you who are apart of a local church, I hope this will be insightful for the leadership you serve. Here are 3 things, they’ll probably never tell you, but wish you knew…

1.  The Hardest Thing in Dealing with People:

Knowing what’s right and watching people do the opposite.

Ever since Sarah and I  were teenagers my in-laws, who were in the ministry, told us repeatedly that, “The hardest thing about ministry is knowing what is right for someone and watching them do the opposite.” In the last 16 years of doing ministry, I have discovered that their assessment is right.

More than judgment, it’s about perception. As a leader, there is an anointing God gives you through the direction of Scriptures to be able to see from a far, what many people are unable to see up close in their lives. Down through the years, one of the most gut wrenching things about being in the “People Business” is dealing with this reality. People are what we do. We love them, care for them, pray for them, counsel them, teach them and coach them, but at the end of the day, what they do is ultimately their decision.

It never gets easier watching people make unwise choices that will lead to regret. But we have learned over the years that the best we can do is keep the relationship open through unconditional love and no judgment. As it says in the New Testament, “Mercy triumphs over Judgment.” We’ve found this to be true, everytime…

2.  The Hardest Thing about Ministry Personally:

The Spiritual Attack.

For leaders who follow me and listen to me frequently, they know I’m prone to say often that, “There is only one guy in this organization who ultimately wears the target on his chest… and it’s me.” When people take shots, they’re aimed at me. When the devil takes shots, they’re aimed at me. I have a great team who takes tons of bullets for me on a regular basis, but the reality that hits you hard in ministry is recognizing that though the team may have taken the bullet, the gun was ultimately aimed at you.

I’m not an “Overly-Spiritual” kind of guy who finds a demon under every rock, but I do know that the Bible is clear that, “We wrestle not with flesh and blood but with principalities and powers in high places.” We can never forget that what we do is unlike any other enterprise on the planet for it is both natural and spiritual. At the end of the day, we are not dealing with natural forces at play only. We are in a spiritual war.

Learning to discern as a leader what is natural, living-on-planet-earth stuff and what is spiritual battle is definitely an art, not a science.

3.  The hardest Thing about Leadership at this Level:

Being Misunderstood.

The larger our church has gotten and the more influence God gives us on a national level, the more I’m learning that “Everyday I make decisions that effect lots of people.” And not everyone is going to agree with the decisions I make. By far the hardest thing about ministry and leading at this level is being misunderstood in the decision making process and yet not having the ability for people to understand your heart.

When a leader makes a decision, it fleshes itself out in black and white. Checks get written, policies get made, people move forward with the details. Unfortunately, the part that often gets lost in the implementation of the decision is the heart behind it. This is inevitably where misunderstanding comes into play. I’m convinced that the vast majority of leaders make decisions that effect the lives of the people they serve with extremely pure hearts. However, the distance from their pure heart to how it effects people individually is often a long one that is laden with opportunities for the heart behind it all to get lost.

As a leader, you have to learn to place it in God’s hands and allow Him to sort it all out in people’s minds. Too often, that’s easier said than done. Too often, it’s the lone dissenting voice that rings the loudest in your ear. It’s the voice of disagreement that keeps you up at night. Processing through being misunderstood is by far the Hardest thing about leading at this level.

Just a bloggish thought,

Matt Keller

twitter: @matthewkeller

facebook: www.FaceBook.com/matthewwkeller

booksite: www.UptheMiddle.com

9 Comments

  1. Dennis Kutzner on September 2, 2009 at 6:38 am

    Matt has hit the bulls eye with this, in my opinion. I have found the hardest thing about number one is letting go and allowing God to deal with individuals the way He wishes. This is especially true with those closest to the Leader, such as family. Keep it going up the middle, Matt. Great job.

  2. Royce Gooch on September 2, 2009 at 9:19 am

    Matt, Good Stuff!!

  3. Jared Hughes on September 2, 2009 at 9:24 am

    I love this part you said: “This is inevitably where misunderstanding comes into play. I’m convinced that the vast majority of leaders make decisions that effect the lives of the people they serve with extremely pure hearts. However, the distance from their pure heart to how it effects people individually is often a long one that is laden with opportunities for the heart behind it all to get lost.”

    In the 12 years of full-time ministry this has been one of the hardest to overcome. Even with good clear communication, sometimes it still gets messed up.

    Great article!

  4. Zori on September 2, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Well written! The life of a leader is difficult, and blessed at the same time.

  5. matthewkeller on September 2, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    Josh,

    Wow, love that! TJ and Shayla are amazing leaders! We're so pumped to get to be behind you guys! Thanks for trusting them!

    Matt

  6. Rob Tirollo on September 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    You have definately been granted wisdom beyond your years

  7. Nathan Camp on September 2, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Matt,

    Good stuff. It's these three areas that often are the biggest fall out points. They need to be what I call “revolving review” points…places where we ask the questions monthly, how am I doing with this?

    So glad to see you mentoring so many from afar.

    Blessings my friend,
    Nathan

  8. matthewkeller on September 3, 2009 at 8:58 am

    Lisa,

    Wow, thanks for the complement. I love being your pastor! It's also really cool to hear someone apply this stuff outside the realm of ministry. It's nice to know that this stuff has more universal appeal than I might expect on the surface.

    Thanks again,

    Pastor Matt

  9. Ryan on October 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Matt,

    I too am a pastor (not by seminar but by God's call) and find this to be hard, but harder for me is loneliness. Is this something that all pastors deal with all their lives or is it just me. I seem to have trouble relating to people who are so caught up with temporary things of this world and can't see the “frog frying in the frying pan.” Therefore, my whole life I have been alone in my burdens and sufferings. I hate to write this, but I'm desperate for an answer. I have tried inviting people places and they don't show up even when they say they'll be there. No one is simply remotely trustworthy. Unfortunately, I don't like bars, but I think they'd welcome me more than some people in the church. They're too busy looking good and fitting in with the cool crowds to notice those who really need friends. I hope God comes soon.

Leave a Comment