How I Learn – Part 1
How I Learn – Part 1
When we think of learning, we often think of it as a given, or automatic. However, great leaders understand that when it comes to learning, there is more than meets the eye. This week is dedicated to examining How I Learn as a Leader.
#1: I Listen.
I am amazed at the number of leaders who are not good listeners. In fact, I would say one of the major temptations leaders face is to do more talking than listening most of the time!
Here are 3 thoughts on how I listen in order to learn:
1. I listen like I’m talking to a mentor. One of the things I’ve trained my mind to do is to listen to teachings or messages by other leaders in a personal way. I try to envision the speaker talking directly to me. I try to keep my focus on myself and not let myself think of someone else who really needs to hear this.
2. I listen more than I talk. Let me say that I Try to listen more than I speak, especially when I’m with someone I admire or look up to in leadership. The temptation as a young leader is to be so consumed with getting my idea heard that I lose the focus on listening.
3. I listen to what’s not being said. So much of listening is non-verbal. I am constantly attempting to hear what the communicator is not saying with their actions. Another piece of this is in attempting to hear through the jargon. Often an accomplished communicator will use terms or phrases that make perfect sense in their head, but to the uninformed listener, can get lost. I always try to take the time to unpack what is being implied but understated by the speaker.
? On a scale of 1 to 10, how adept are you at listening as a leader?
Just a bloggish thought,
Matt
Hey Matt,
I think I listen pretty well to speakers and to others I feel I can learn from. Just being real…I may struggle a little with listening to input from people on my team. I'm inviting input, but honestly struggle if I disagree with what they say. How do I communicate that I'm listening, but need to possibly share disagreement?
Just a bloggish question.
Love you man!
Dan
Dan,
I think it's as much of an artform as anything, but the goal is to affirm, but disagree with grace. Here's a great rule of thumb I try and keep in mind is, “Most people don't want to be right as much as they want to be heard… including me.” So the key is to actively listen and make sure they feel heard.
One way to do this is to repeat back what they're saying and validate it.
Another key for me is to make sure that with my team I allow them to win. If we only ever use my ideas, then they'll stop giving theirs.
Finally, I would say that it's necessary especially in the early days with a team to have more lengthy conversations about why you're making the decision you are. Or why you're choosing not to go with their decision, b/c that's how you get teams to think like you think about problem solving or culture shaping.
Hope that helps,
Matt