Dealing with "The Pride Inside"
I’ve been doing a lot studying on “The Insecure Leader” for a book I’m hoping to write in the future, and I would love your feedback on the particular issue of “Pride.” Let me set it up…
One of the three great issues leaders (& particularly male leaders) struggle with is Pride. If that’s one of the top 3, then, it’s obviously a HUGE deal for a whole lot of us, if not all of us on some level.
So, since the Bible says in Proverbs that, “Pride comes before a fall,” then this issue is a Paramount one we must deal with in order to lead successfully in our lives, our families, our ministries and our careers.
Here are a couple of pieces of clarity I uncovered recently, weigh in and help me process this:
1. Pride creates a False Sense of Invincibility in the heart of a Leader.
When we allow Pride to fog our vision as a leader, we begin to make decisions with a belief that says, “I can’t lose.” What a dangerous place to be, especially when you think that there are people involved; namely, those who work for us, follow us and are watching us.
Sooner or later a pride-filled leader will take one step too far because of this Invincibility thinking and will ultimately end up “falling” as the Bible says.
2. Pride creates a False Sense of Foundation.
A second danger of pride in the life of a leader is the illusion of a strong foundation when in reality the foundation of our organization may be unhealthy or weak. Pride causes us to believe the foundation is more solid than it actually is in reality.
The end result is a leader who builds a structure too tall for the foundation to hold and eventually the building caves in on itself.
3. Pride is one of the hardest things to see in the mirror.
Perhaps the greatest revelation about pride I’ve seen lately is that it’s one of the hardest things to see in the mirror of a leader’s life, which makes it one of the most dangerous vices of all! Pride is a self-insulator. In other words, pride has a self-protecting mechanism built right in to itself, so that if and when someone tries to point it out, it will instantly pushback and not allow any sort of idea in.
So what do we do about Pride in our Lives?
Secure leaders proactively invite accountability into the reality of their leadership. They invite those closest to them to be on constant lookout for prideful things that may emerge in the vocabulary or actions of a leader. If we don’t invite that type of accountability, those around us who are most able to see prideful areas in us will not feel comfortable to draw our attention to them, thus perpetuating pride’s ugly existence in our life.
If we’re going to be Secure Leaders, then we must deal proactively with Pride in our lives.
Matt Keller
I know as leaders one of the difficult things we face are the criticisms of how we lead. And we do well to ignore those things. But we're not as willing to ignore the compliments we receive. I think that we have to try and live somewhere in between – hearing the truth that is in the criticism, and taking the compliments for what they are, realizing that any success we see is probably the result of a team working with us, or of a great God who simply paves the road ahead of us.
I just know that it feels good to hear people say nice things. But those compliments can be just as dangerous to our self awareness as the criticisms. They can be the fuel of pride.
A leader who takes his eyes from God's grace & mercy and begins to rely on his own work will become prideful; the fastest way to destroy a church. They feel invincible (you touched on this)and think because they are Christians they are “blameless”. Years ago I was involved in a church which had leadership issues (my way or the highway attitude), and pride ferociously overtook the body and you could see the destruction and devastation on lives. The church went from 2 packed services, dynamic youth ministry and lots of activities to barely filling the sactuary. Satan is the father of pride and this is an area that he can blind us all in, he is the expert. Only coming to God daily on our knees and being accountable will keep pride at bay.
Straight up bro. Your second point is THE temptation for successful leaders. Wow, great call bro,
Love ya,
Keller
true
Matt you hit right out of the park again. The temptation of a leader to get to big of himself is an easy thing for anyone to do. The outlook of those who are close to us are the ones who need to feel comfortable enough to call us on anything. Without those positive influences in our lives we are truly left to that temptation or are getting ready to fall. I know that for me looking to God to lean on for strength is the the most important thing, but we also need someone who is not afraid and that knows us well enough to give us a kick in the rear from time to time. Excellent article and very well written.
Thank you for this post & thank you, in advance, for the book that will come from it.
Matt I would have to say that from seeing what you put on Facebook and Twitter that you struggle a good deal in this area. (I have gotten the impression that you feel that there are many people whom you encounter that are beneath you.) It is my prayer that through your study of this topic for your book that you will be able to follow the Lords lead and address this issue in your own life as well.
You're welcome, Your Tweets not only keep me motivated they keep me laughing.
Such a tricky subject….since (I believe) pride is just insecurity in disguise. True self-possession and confidence is fully convinced and has no need to parade around seeking dramatic evidence of itself or to squash others in order to elevate. Could insecurity be the true giant behind this dynamic? If yes, we (and I DO mean WE) can daily go back to “first base” and redirect our eyes to The Prize, Jesus, our Treasure. THAT is where we become fully convinced and confident. A Mighty platform from which to navigate “this distracting globe” (Shakespeare's Hamlet). With sincere admiration, Lynne Ditsch
Interesting topic Matt. Insecurities seem to be a major dilemma in staff, leaders, relationships. But more important Self-Deception is the underlying problem. Was Satan kicked out the Lord's presence because of Pride… well maybe that was the end result. I believe he was actually deceiving himself to be as great as God. Masked under the sin of pride. Many leaders including myself are under a tremendous amount of Self-Deception. You cant see Self Deception only those who know you can.