My Annual #MLB Picks for the 2012 Season (Sarcasm Included Thru-out)

So the 2012 MLB Season is upon us & I’m excited to once again make my “Official” Predictions.

So without further ado here you go:

American League East:

1. Yankees-Schmankees. Blah Blah Blah. Here’s the simple equation: $200+ Million x anything = 1st Place. I will say this though, the Spankees are getting older, so if they have health issues that could be just the hole the Rays need to slip in and steal another banner this year.

Jeter will be Jeter. A-Rod will be injured for 50 games. Joba Chamberlain will be underwelming all over again. And my Yankee friends will leave comments about being “the greatest and best and 27 championships,” and in my head all I will hear is a bad impression of a Darth Vader voice & the Imperial March theme song in the background.

2. The Tampa Bay Rays. Despite all the odds stacked against us (yeah I said us.. it really is a personal possessive pronoun; I challenge you to find a bigger Rays fan in the state of Florida bring it), year after year, we find a way to win.

Joe Maddon will once again be Manager of the Year. And the rest of Major League Baseball will seek to learn from the Best Franchise in all of Baseball again in 2012. This team could be the best we’ve ever had in Tampa and will DEFINITELY finish above Boston again this year.

Hey NY, Boston, LA, and the rest of ya, News Flash: The world changed! Money ain’t everything anymore. Even to the elite athlete. The new generation cares less about money and more about meaning and significance and teamwork. Just cause you can buy a team of all-stars doesn’t mean you can buy chemistry.

The Tampa Bay Rays will be a Chemistry-Driven Team this year and Chemistry & Intangibles trump Dollar Signs every day of the season.

American League Central:

Gosh, I really like the way the Kansas City Royals are building their franchise (think TB Rays) and I love the depth of their farm system. But they are still a year away. Find me 1 year from now and all things being equal, they’ll be on this list, but for this year…

1. Detroit Tigers. The Tige’s will get their money’s worth out of the new fresh Prince of Motown and as long as Miguel Cabrera can keep himself away from the law and injury free at 3rd Base, they’ll run the table.

But I must say the AL Central is a pretty flimsy table. Let’s look at it: The Twinkies in Minnesota are just that, a snack cake for Prince, the White Sox are still trying to figure out how they’re firey manager now lives on South Beach, the Indians are still trying to build a team the wrong way (bringing in post-prime-of-their-career players) and the Royals are still a year away.

So the table that is set for Prince & Verlander to feast on in the Central will be the equivalent of a card table set up next to a pop-up camper somewhere outside of a small fishing town on Lake Erie. Be sure to buy bait before you leave Detroit. I only hope they can inspire the city to larger things. Detroit needs the Tigers.

American League West:

1. Texas Rangers. Yeah, I’m going with the 3-peat on this one. The Rangers, even without CJ Wilson, will be dominant because let’s face it, if they aren’t Nolan Ryan will show up with bottles of Advil and start chucking them at the players in the clubhouse or something! (Listen, I wouldn’t want to get in that guy’s way, especially if he’s medicated at all (on advil of course)).

Anyway, I digress. Here’s the deal with the AL West. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Angels (what city are they in again?) got Albert & CJ but dude, Torii Hunter and their outfield are aging & Jeremy Weaver is a crap shoot.

Then there’s the Mariner’s (wait, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little) and who’s the other team in the West again? Oh yeah, that’s right, the Oakland A’s, or are they the San Jose A’s, or does anybody care? Wait, yes, the Raiders (NFL) care, because someone has to keep the turf nice until football season begins again, right. Oh, that’s not what the A’s are for? My bad.

American League Wild Cards:

So, all in all, I like the 2 wild card thing. Let me tell ya what I don’t like about the whole Playoff Situation in the MLB. (Rant Coming…)

Baseball is a game of rhythm. 6 to 7 games per week for 6 months. Then you get to the playoffs, and thanks to FOX sports (or whoever is to blame for the TV scheduling) all of a sudden, (hear a whiney 4 year old voice) “guys need rest… we need a travel day… what about our pitchers…”

Oh my gosh! Are you serious?!? We pay these duffers, millions and millions of dollars to play a game while the rest of the world goes to work, and once they get to the postseason, all of a sudden, everyone needs a travel day and rest and blah blah blah.

Give me a stinkin’ break! Push the games together! It’s crazy that if a team wins their 3 game first round, that they could have 5 or 6 days off before their next game in the next round!

Let me say this as plainly as I can:  THAT’S NOT BASEBALL! Play the games for crying out loud!

Oh, yeah and 2 others things:

1) Quit with all the extended commercial breaks after every half-inning. 90 seconds. That’s all we need during the regular season, and that’s all we need in October.

2) Start the stinkin’ games before 8:30 pm Eastern time! Seriously, my kids love the game of baseball, but we are raising an entire generation who has never watched a World Series Game!

Oh yeah, and since I’m here: One more thing: Can’t we start the season a week earlier (think 2011) so that there is at least a chance that the World Series will be played before Week 8 of the NFL season & before Christmas Shopping Begins?!?

Don’t get me wrong, I love baseball going as long as possible, but if we’re gonna take every other day off in the playoffs, maybe we should at least get ’em in before the holidays? Whatever…

Now, for my 2 Wild Card Picks in the AL:

1. The Tampa Bay Rays.
2. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Now to the (yawn) National League: (When are they going to learn that we’re watching 12% lesser baseball without the designated hitter in the lineup? Listen, I don’t care what you think, Baseball is a game of statistics and so if 1 out of 9 guys is basically a sure out, then yes, we are actually watching a 12% less entertaining and competitive game.)

National League East:

I actually like this division this year. I think the Marlins will be very entertaining to watch (not that they’ll win) And the Phillies will be competitive, as will the Braves & Nationals actually, and as for the Mets, yeah, well, when my 8 year old says, “Dad, let’s face it, the Mets are just a mess…” you’ve got serious problems.

1.  So I’m picking the Phillies… again. Gosh, it kills me to do it, (think 2008 World Series) but it’s right. All their stud pitchers will do it again, The flyin’ Hawaiian (Victorino) will be awesome. And Hunter Pence ought to have his own Action-Figure line. Seriously, that guy just looks like a superhero in a baseball uniform. (Not to mention since he switched from the ‘stros, he’s been wearing #3 like a Yankee Great of Yesteryear. I think it’s appropriate.) I really like that kid.

National League Central:

Okay, as a born-and-raised-corn-fed-grew-up-listening-to-WGN720am-radio Cub fan every afternoon after school, it kills me to see that franchise so dire. And, yes, I do think Theo can turn it around. but its gonna be a while.

As for the rest of the NLCentral… um, well, let’s see… Astros (Yeah No), Pirates (Cool spring training hats with the giant yellow P, but NO) Brewers, (eh) Cardinals (who can fill the King’s shoes) so I guess that leaves the Reds.

Name me 3 of their starting lineup? Go… come on… I’ll wait. Right… there’s that Votto kid. He’s good. And then there’s…

Right, can’t be done, yet somehow I’m actually going to pick them, honestly, because I don’t think whatever his name is Freese in St. Louis can live up to the hype of a good October last year and so I think the Cincinnati Reds will win the NLCentral.

Which will be the equivalent of winning an award at a kid’s fishing tournament where every kid there gets a trophy and a McDonald’s Happy Meal just for paying the $10 entry fee. That’s the NLCentral. It’s a sorry excuse for a division this year and can be won if you pay the entry fee, get lucky and happen to pull out a fish before the time runs out.

Wow, that was painful.

National League West:

Oh dear. Does Mark Cuban own the Dodgers? Or did a drug smuggler pony up the money? I can’t remember. All I know is that poor Matt Kemp is a great player in a sorry organization. Hey Matt, come to Tampa Bay baby! We’ll love ya and take care of ya and treat you like the All-Star you are! (By that, I mean we can’t give you a long term contract, and you’ll be paid league minimum for the life of your deal, but Joe sure is a nice guy, and hey, at least you’re playing in Air Conditioning all season. Even if it is an air conditioned building in the worst location ever! No seriously, put Tropicana Field on the moon and it’s a better location! Well, now that you mention it, it actually feels like you’re watching baseball on the moon some nights, especially if it rains outside…)

1. I guess I’m going SF Giants. Why you ask? Because it ain’t the Padres, the Rockies are going to be too scattered and the Diamondbacks, well, I guess they’re a good team. I think I just would like to see that bearded guy do his thing again during my holiday shopping season!

National League Wild Cards:

See RANT from “American League Wild Cards” above. Then proceed:

I seriously am thinking to myself, who else in the NL is even worthy of playing into the holiday season and I’m struggling here. I guess I’ll go with…

1. The St. Louis Cardinals. Don’t they have Molina the catcher (one of them) on a long term deal. Don’t count out the Molina brothers. They’re gerthy.

2. The Arizona Diamondbacks. I guess. Kirk Gibson. He reminds of a law enforcement officer. Kind a scary and really intimidating, but you know deep down he’s here to help. That’s how I feel about him. I just want to know how he felt about his guys jumpin’ in that pool after they won. I betcha he wasn’t giggling and handed out towels in the lockerroom.

One final set of picks: Playoffs:

ALWC: Rays
ALWC: Angels

Winner: Rays

NLWC: Cardinals
NLWC: Diamondbacks

Winner: Cardinals

AL Round 1:

Yankees vs. Tigers
Rangers vs. Rays

Winners: Tigers & Rays (Come on Rays please, beat the Rangers finally)

NL Round 1:

Phillies vs. Giants
Reds vs. Cardinals

Winners: Phillies & Reds

AL World Series: Rays
NL World Series: Phillies

Repeat of 2008, except this year, the outcome will be different:


2012 Tampa Bay Rays World Champions

(Yeah, I’m still biased…)

So there you go… You can take it to the bank… cause I nailed it. That is exactly how the season will go down.

Thanks for reading,

#AddingValue

@MatthewKeller