6 Tools I Use to Remember Names

There’s no magic pill that we can take to remember everyone’s name, but there are a few tactics I’ve learned over the years that help me to remember people’s names. Here ya go…

1.  See Them.

     I am a visual learner, so seeing a name helps me remember it more often. For years we had nametags at Next Level Church and the reason why, was because it helped me (and others) remember people’s names. Now, I try to picture people’s names in my mind. If you can see it, it will help you remember it.
     From time to time, I’ll even write their name down on a napkin or a sheet of paper. For example, if I’m teaching in a team setting with 8 to 12 leaders at a table, I’ll ask the pastor to introduce each person and what they do on the team, then I’ll jot their name down, because it helps me remember it. And as we talked about on Friday, repeating someone’s name later in the meeting or conversation adds “wow factor.”

2.  Say Them.

     When someone is introduced to me, I try to say their name in conversation back to them as quickly as I can. Example: “Matt, this is Jim.” I’ll immediately repeat it. “Jim? It’s great to meet you Jim.” Then if I can, and it’s not awkward or weird, I’ll try and use their name in the next 30 seconds to 1 minute of conversation. “…you know, I’ve found the same thing, Jim…” And when leaving their presence I’ll say their name one more time. “It was great to meet you Jim…”
     Saying a name helps lock it into your short term memory.

3.  Repeat Them.

     This is similar to #2, Say Them, except it puts the person’s name in a future context. Staying with the example from above, if I walked away from Jim. I would try to say to my friend who introduced us, “Jim seems like a great guy.” Repeating a name after the interaction, helps lock it in further.

4.  Associate Them.

     The ultimate goal with a name is that it becomes linked to something greater than just their name or their face. Some people will talk about creating some cute memory game like, “Jim is Slim…” I’ve never been able to do that very well in real time, because my creative juices get going while I’m standing there talking to them, so instead of listening and making a real connection, I’m busy trying to think up a rhyming game or something cute to associate their name with.
     I’d rather associate their name to something real. Like what they do for a living, who their spouse is, their kid’s names or activities, or a similar passion or hobby we share, or they enjoy. It just feels more genuine than, “Jim is slim.” Especially if he’s not.

5.  Place Them.

     Often, for me it’s literally on a map. I’m such a visual learner that, for example, when I meet a pastor or leader and find out what city they’re in, I can see it on this huge map of the United States I have in my office. Then, my mind usually goes to what Major League Baseball team is near them! But it helps me place them.
     For others, I’ll try and place them in the surroundings we’re in, if I want to remember their name beyond just the meeting or the day I’m spending with them. For example, if I met Jim at a party at Dave and Barbara’s house, then I’d try and place him in my mind in their living room, or beside their pool. If I can see him somewhere, I can connect him to what the event was about and am more likely to see him there in my mind in the future.

6.  Nickname Them.

     This is kind of a funny one, but for me it’s totally real. Everyone I like, I nickname. Once I get comfortable with someone, I find myself morphing their name into a nickname. And I tell them that their nickname will morph over time, but that’s only because I like them.
     I have found that giving people a nickname makes them feel special. After all, if you have a nickname for them, then you must be pretty close, right? I love nicknaming people. And I love watching how the nickname morphs over time. And I think the people I nickname enjoy it too. If nothing else, it gives us something in common to laugh and talk about.

The bottom line is this: Names matter. More than we’d like to admit. As leaders, we have to refuse to make excuses and do the hard work of engaging people’s names. It’s always worth it.

Matt