Where Does Confidence Come From? Part 2
Let’s continue with our series about where confidence comes from. The last point was about knowing you are believed in. That bring us to
Confidence comes from believing in yourself.
Early in my ministry career, I enjoyed a lot of success right out of the gate. Things were going great and I was advanced beyond my peers…until I wasn’t.
When Sarah and I moved to Fort Myers to start Next Level Church, things changed in so many ways. Everything was new, in a new place and we were really working without a net. Almost overnight, we went from being sort of a big deal to trying to build a new church in a movie theater where we could hear explosions from the movie being shown next door during our services. For years I’d had a big, Joseph-like vision of what God’s plan for me was and then I found myself working in a jewelry store, going home to a little apartment at the end of the day and wondering what had happened. My confidence took a big hit.
After becoming involved with the ARC, the Association of Related Churches, I started to rub shoulders with some outstanding, high level leaders. I learned from them and they did their best to build me up so I could build Next Level up. We’d get together and they always told me “Hey Matt, here’s my number. If you need anything, I want you to call me.” I’d take it, thank them…and never call. Next time we’d see each other, it was the same thing “You’ve got my number man, why aren’t you calling me?” And again, I wouldn’t call. That cycle went on for two or three years. And why wouldn’t I call? Why wasn’t I accepting the repeated offers of help? Because I didn’t believe in myself. I felt like I would be bothering them.
Fortunately those leaders believed in me more than I believed in myself at that time. A couple of them sat me down and got very direct about it. They told me that the offers of help were sincere and that they were there for me, not just as leaders, but as my friend. Most importantly, they became my Joe Maddon and that’s what I needed at that point in my ministry. Those men telling me “hey, you belong up here” was invaluable. I needed someone to tell me that I deserved to be there. Not deserving in a “don’t you know who I am” sort of way, but in a “you’ve been given the gifts to be here and done the work to get her” sort of way.
As leaders, believing in ourselves is an incredibly important facet of what we do. John Maxwell said “Confidence in oneself is the cornerstone of successful leadership. Only those who believe in themselves have enough optimism to see the best in those around them. Self-confidence breeds confidence in others.” Take a second to let that sink in.
Leading is not about us, it’s about those we serve. A lack of confidence on our part not only hampers our ability to see (and bring out) the best in others, but it serves to rob them of opportunities to increase their own confidence. Believe in ourselves and we can better serve those we lead.
Application suggestion:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how deserving are you of the role you have? Why is that your number?